One of the reasons people consistently perform at a higher level than others or
produce more remarkable results is that they possess a higher mental standard.
Because you always move in the direction of your currently dominant thought,
when your mindset is “excellence,” you will move toward that and perform at a
higher level.
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Eight steps for raising your standards And Then Some!
by Richard L. Weaver II, PhD
Don
Wilder, cinematographer, says excuses are the nails used to build a
house of failure. I’ve not been one to make a whole lot of excuses, but
having taught college for close to 30 years one automatically hears a wide
range. It seems to go with the territory. “I didn’t do well on the exam
because the professor asked questions on sections we hadn’t studied,” or
“She didn’t explain the material well enough,” are some typical responses
when the real reason is, “I wasn’t prepared,” or “I didn’t go to class.”
Education isn’t alone in making people experts when it comes to using
excuses. What it does is embed the process deeply in students’ psyches. The
problem isn’t that difficult to discover; nobody wants to take
responsibility for their problems or failures. Excuses are simply ploys to
divert attention from themselves.
Marcus Stroup clarified the problem in his quotation, “There aren’t
nearly enough crutches in the world for all the lame excuses.”
People will say, “I can’t eat healthier, because I’m too busy, and I have to
depend on fast foods,” or “I can’t lose weight because I can’t stand being
hungry all the time,” or “I can’t exercise because I just don’t have the
time.” The key to understanding all excuses is this: we make room in our
lives for what we consider important. An old
Yiddish proverb
states, “If you don’t want to do something, one excuse is as good as
another.”
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to discover the problem in our society.
Things have been made too easy. Food is as close as the nearest
drive-through, information arrives with a mere keystroke, music of our
choice is on the iPod, a family or friend contact is on the cell phone,
delicious snacks and beverages are available to suit every taste, and a wide
array of amusing, entertaining, and captivating play-diversions are
available to occupy any extra moment in our busy, fully-occupied,
consumer-oriented lives. We are easily distracted, amused, and entertained.
When the standards are set low, there is no bar to raise; it lies below
ground-level. There is no challenge, no difficulty, no strain, nor need to
stretch. The flab of the fat reflects the sagging society. If things seem a
bit lackluster and lifeless, check no further than many of those listless,
uninspiring bodies simply occupying space.
Let’s first discuss the harm that lies in excuses. It was
Benjamin Franklin who said, “He that is good for making excuses is
seldom good for anything else.” According to Chuck Gallozzi in his essay,
“Making Excuses,” at the website
personal-development.com, there are two major harms. First, they negate
responsibility, “and it is responsibility,” Gallozzi adds, “that separates
man from the rest of the animal kingdom.” Second, they prevent one from
succeeding. Gallozzi says, “When we make excuses and repeat them often
enough, they become a belief. The belief then becomes a self-fulfilling
prophecy.”
Let’s reverse it and rather than discuss the harms, look at the rewards. Is
it really worth it to drop the excuses? The answer is clearly, “Yes.” First,
it brings all the benefits of living a life of responsibility. For example,
an attitude of responsibility builds self-respect, pride, and confidence.
And with these traits, too, comes competence and power. Second, it puts you
in charge. You have control over your life, and you don’t have to hide
behind excuses. Hiding is a weakness. When you admit your failures, you can
delight and glory in your strengths. It is at these times when you realize
that your success or failure depends on you — only you.
Third, and as a direct byproduct of the first two rewards, dropping the
excuses will make you a better person. It could have a direct effect on your
intelligence, and your actions will become deliberate and thoughtful — the
actions of a responsible human being.
Fortunately, your life doesn’t need to be built on excuses. Yes, it could be
argued that you need them. Donald Lawrence explains the need in an online
essay at the website
Helium. He noted in his essay, “Stop Making Excuses!,” “We need them to
make sense of the senseless, find sanity in the insane, and a resemblance of
order in chaos.” One of his most insightful comments is, “Our excuses are
the walls of stone that we construct. They are our silent shields, our
perfect protection.” So, the solution, obviously, is not to eliminate all
excuses from our lives. Perhaps we need a wall or two or a silent shield.
But, there are things we can do to limit them.
The first step in changing from a life of excuses to one of taking
responsibility is to begin to have confidence in yourself and your talents.
This was the first of four steps listed at the
eHow
website in an essay there by the eHow health editor entitled, “How to Stop
Making Excuses.” Excuses make us doubt our abilities and qualifications.
The second step discussed by the
eHow
health editor is to seize the opportunity. The point is simply that there is
no “perfect” time for anything. Make a commitment to yourself to start right
now. What are you waiting for? You don’t have time? That reflects no
commitment whatever. If you are afraid of failure or afraid of getting out
of your comfort zone, nobody can take this step for you: make the
commitment, and make it now. Take charge of your life.
The third step is to focus on your successes and learn from your failures.
Sure, you’ve failed before; we all have. Life is too short to dwell on
failures. The eHow health editor suggests making a list of your
accomplishments for times when you can use a pep talk.
The fourth step is to be honest with yourself. Are you serious about
changing your behavior? What is it that is really holding you back? Are
excuses hiding something much deeper?
Always along the road to change, you must stop to examine your progress.
When you compare where you are now with where you would like to be, create
specific plans to change. Also, along the way, too, there will be mistakes.
Accept responsibility; learn from them; don’t repeat them. Sure, excuses
could be the nails used to build a house of failure, but Henry Ward Beecher
offers strong motivation in his comment, “Hold yourself responsible for a
higher standard than anybody else expects of you, never excuse yourself.”
back to page top
> Eight steps for raising your standards And Then
Some!
> Eliminate Every Excuse?
> Excuses are the nails used to build a house of
failure
> Forget about resolutions and promises — Take
care of your new car!
Eliminate Every Excuse?
by Richard L. Weaver II, PhD
Don Wilder, cinematographer, says
excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure. I’ve not been one to
make a whole lot of excuses, but having taught college for close to 30 years
one automatically hears a wide range. It seems to go with the territory. “I
didn’t do well on the exam because the professor asked questions on sections
we hadn’t studied,” or “She didn’t explain the material well enough,” are
some typical responses when the real reason is, “I wasn’t prepared,” or “I
didn’t go to class.”
Education isn’t alone in making people experts when it comes to using
excuses. What it does is embed the process deeply in students’ psyches. The
problem isn’t that difficult to discover; nobody wants to take
responsibility for their problems or failures. Excuses are simply ploys to
divert attention from themselves. Marcus Stroup clarified the problem in his
quotation, “There aren’t nearly enough crutches in the world for all the
lame excuses.”
People will say, “I can’t eat healthier, because I’m too busy, and I have to
depend on fast foods,” or “I can’t lose weight because I can’t stand being
hungry all the time,” or “I can’t exercise because I just don’t have the
time.” The key to understanding all excuses is this: we make room in our
lives for what we consider important. An old Yiddish proverb states, “If you
don’t want to do something, one excuse is as good as another.”
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to discover the problem in our society.
Things have been made too easy. Food is as close as the nearest drive-thru,
information arrives with a mere keystroke, music of our choice is on the
iPod, a family or friend contact is on the cell phone, delicious snacks and
beverages are available to suit every taste, and a wide array of amusing,
entertaining, and captivating play-diversions are available to occupy any
extra moment in our busy, fully-occupied, consumer-oriented lives. We are
easily distracted, amused, and entertained.
When the standards are set low, there is no bar to raise; it lies below
ground-level. There is no challenge, no difficulty, no strain, nor need to
stretch. The flab of the fat reflects the sagging society. If things seem a
bit lackluster and lifeless, check no further than many of those listless,
uninspiring bodies simply occupying space.
LLet’s first discuss the harm that lies in excuses. It was Benjamin Franklin
who said, “He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything
else.” According to
Chuck
Gallozzi, there are two major harms. First, they negate responsibility,
“and it is responsibility,” Gallozzi adds, “that separates man from the rest
of the animal kingdom.” Second, they prevent one from succeeding. Gallozzi
says, “When we make excuses and repeat them often enough, they become a
belief. The belief then becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.”
Let’s reverse it and rather than discuss the harms, look at the rewards. Is
it really worth it to drop the excuses? The answer is clearly, “Yes.” First,
it brings all the benefits of living a life of responsibility. For example,
an attitude of responsibility builds self-respect, pride, and confidence.
And with these traits, too, comes competence and power. Second, it puts you
in charge. You have control over your life, and you don’t have to hide
behind excuses. Hiding is a weakness. When you admit your failures, you can
delight and glory in your strengths. It is at these times when you realize
that your success or failure depends on you — only you.
Third, and as a direct byproduct of the first two rewards, dropping the
excuses will make you a better person. It could have a direct effect on your
intelligence, and your actions will become deliberate and thoughtful — the
actions of a responsible human being.
Fortunately, your life doesn’t need to be built on excuses. Yes, it could be
argued that you need them. Donald Lawrence noted in his essay, “Stop
Making Excuses!” He writes, “We need them to make sense of the
senseless, find sanity in the insane, and a resemblance of order in chaos.”
One of his most insightful comments is, “Our excuses are the walls of stone
that we construct. They are our silent shields, our perfect protection.” So,
the solution, obviously, is not to eliminate all excuses from our lives.
Perhaps we need a wall or two or a silent shield. But, there are things we
can do to limit them.
The first step in changing from a life of excuses to one of taking
responsibility is to begin to have confidence in yourself and your talents.
This was the first of four steps listed at the
eHow
website in an essay there by the eHow health editor entitled, “How to
Stop Making Excuses.” Excuses make us doubt our abilities and
qualifications.
The second step discussed by the eHow health editor is to seize the
opportunity. The point is simply that there is no “perfect” time for
anything. Make a commitment to yourself to start right now. What are you
waiting for? You don’t have time? That reflects no commitment whatever. If
you are afraid of failure or afraid of getting out of your comfort zone,
nobody can take this step for you: make the commitment, and make it now.
Take charge of your life.
The third step is to focus on your successes and learn from your failures.
Sure, you’ve failed before; we all have. Life is too short to dwell on
failures. The eHow health editor suggests making a list of your
accomplishments for times when you can use a pep talk.
The fourth step is to be honest with yourself. Are you serious about
changing your behavior? What is it that is really holding you back? Are
excuses hiding something much deeper?
Always along the road to change, you must stop to examine your progress.
When you compare where you are now with where you would like to be, create
specific plans to change. Also, along the way, too, there will be mistakes.
Accept responsibility; learn from them; don’t repeat them. Sure, excuses
could be the nails used to build a house of failure, but Henry Ward Beecher
offers strong motivation in his comment, “Hold yourself responsible for a
higher standard than anybody else expects of you, never excuse yourself.”
Bryan Clark has a delightful, motivational essay entitled, “Stop producing
excuses and start producing results,” that has to do with how to become
wealthy online. His essay can be found at the website OneMansGoal.com
http://onemansgoal.com/285/stop-producing-excuses-start-producing-results/
His is a short, enjoyable read is all you need is just a shot-glass full of
adrenaline.
Scott H. Young has a thoughtful, short, little essay, entitled “How to stop
making excuses,” on his website
http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/11/22/how-to-stop-making-excuses/
Scott claims the solution to stopping lies in two steps: organizing your
priorities, and breaking large, uncomfortable steps into manageable pieces.
back to page top
> Eight steps for raising your standards And Then
Some!
> Eliminate Every Excuse?
> Excuses are the nails used to build a house of
failure
> Forget about resolutions and promises — Take
care of your new car!
Excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure
by Richard L. Weaver II, PhD
Don Wilder, cinematographer, says
excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure. I’ve not been one to
make a whole lot of excuses, but having taught college for close to 30 years
one automatically hears a wide range. It seems to go with the territory. “I
didn’t do well on the exam because the professor asked questions on sections
we hadn’t studied,” or “She didn’t explain the material well enough,” are
some typical responses when the real reason is, “I wasn’t prepared,” or “I
didn’t go to class.”
Education isn’t alone in making people experts when it comes to using
excuses. What it does is embed the process deeply in students’ psyches. The
problem isn’t that difficult to discover; nobody wants to take
responsibility for their problems or failures. Excuses are simply ploys to
divert attention from themselves. Marcus Stroup clarified the problem in his
quotation, “There aren’t nearly enough crutches in the world for all the
lame excuses.”
People will say, “I can’t eat healthier, because I’m too busy, and I have to
depend on fast foods,” or “I can’t lose weight because I can’t stand being
hungry all the time,” or “I can’t exercise because I just don’t have the
time.” The key to understanding all excuses is this: we make room in our
lives for what we consider important. An old Yiddish proverb states, “If you
don’t want to do something, one excuse is as good as another.”
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to discover the problem in our society.
Things have been made too easy. Food is as close as the nearest drive-thru,
information arrives with a mere keystroke, music of our choice is on the
iPod, a family or friend contact is on the cell phone, delicious snacks and
beverages are available to suit every taste, and a wide array of amusing,
entertaining, and captivating play-diversions are available to occupy any
extra moment in our busy, fully-occupied, consumer-oriented lives. We are
easily distracted, amused, and entertained.
When the standards are set low, there is no bar to raise; it lies below
ground-level. There is no challenge, no difficulty, no strain, nor need to
stretch. The flab of the fat reflects the sagging society. If things seem a
bit lackluster and lifeless, check no further than many of those listless,
uninspiring bodies simply occupying space.
Let’s first discuss the harm that lies in excuses. It was Benjamin Franklin
who said, “He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything
else.” According to
Chuck
Gallozzi, there are two major harms. First, they negate responsibility,
“and it is responsibility,” Gallozzi adds, “that separates man from the rest
of the animal kingdom.” Second, they prevent one from succeeding. Gallozzi
says, “When we make excuses and repeat them often enough, they become a
belief. The belief then becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.”
Let’s reverse it and rather than discuss the harms, look at the rewards. Is
it really worth it to drop the excuses? The answer is clearly, “Yes.” First,
it brings all the benefits of living a life of responsibility. For example,
an attitude of responsibility builds self-respect, pride, and confidence.
And with these traits, too, comes competence and power. Second, it puts you
in charge. You have control over your life, and you don’t have to hide
behind excuses. Hiding is a weakness. When you admit your failures, you can
delight and glory in your strengths. It is at these times when you realize
that your success or failure depends on you — only you.
Third, and as a direct byproduct of the first two rewards, dropping the
excuses will make you a better person. It could have a direct effect on your
intelligence, and your actions will become deliberate and thoughtful — the
actions of a responsible human being.
Fortunately, your life doesn’t need to be built on excuses. Yes, it could be
argued that you need them. Donald Lawrence noted in his essay, “Stop
Making Excuses!” He writes, “We need them to make sense of the
senseless, find sanity in the insane, and a resemblance of order in chaos.”
One of his most insightful comments is, “Our excuses are the walls of stone
that we construct. They are our silent shields, our perfect protection.” So,
the solution, obviously, is not to eliminate all excuses from our lives.
Perhaps we need a wall or two or a silent shield. But, there are things we
can do to limit them.
The first step in changing from a life of excuses to one of taking
responsibility is to begin to have confidence in yourself and your talents.
This was the first of four steps listed at the
eHow
website in an essay there by the eHow health editor entitled, “How to
Stop Making Excuses.” Excuses make us doubt our abilities and
qualifications.
The second step discussed by the eHow health editor is to seize the
opportunity. The point is simply that there is no “perfect” time for
anything. Make a commitment to yourself to start right now. What are you
waiting for? You don’t have time? That reflects no commitment whatever. If
you are afraid of failure or afraid of getting out of your comfort zone,
nobody can take this step for you: make the commitment, and make it now.
Take charge of your life.
The third step is to focus on your successes and learn from your failures.
Sure, you’ve failed before; we all have. Life is too short to dwell on
failures. The eHow health editor suggests making a list of your
accomplishments for times when you can use a pep talk.
The fourth step is to be honest with yourself. Are you serious about
changing your behavior? What is it that is really holding you back? Are
excuses hiding something much deeper?
Always along the road to change, you must stop to examine your progress.
When you compare where you are now with where you would like to be, create
specific plans to change. Also, along the way, too, there will be mistakes.
Accept responsibility; learn from them; don’t repeat them. Sure, excuses
could be the nails used to build a house of failure, but Henry Ward Beecher
offers strong motivation in his comment, “Hold yourself responsible for a
higher standard than anybody else expects of you, never excuse yourself.”
Bryan Clark has a delightful, motivational essay entitled, “Stop producing
excuses and start producing results,” that has to do with how to become
wealthy online. His essay can be found at the website OneMansGoal.com
http://onemansgoal.com/285/stop-producing-excuses-start-producing-results/
His is a short, enjoyable read is all you need is just a shot-glass full of
adrenaline.
Scott H. Young has a thoughtful, short, little essay, entitled “How to stop
making excuses,” on his website
http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/11/22/how-to-stop-making-excuses/
Scott claims the solution to stopping lies in two steps: organizing your
priorities, and breaking large, uncomfortable steps into manageable pieces.
back to page top
> Eight steps for raising your standards And Then
Some!
> Eliminate Every Excuse?
> Excuses are the nails used to build a house of
failure
> Forget about resolutions and promises — Take
care of your new car!
Forget about resolutions and promises — Take care of your new car!
by Richard L. Weaver II, PhD
Forget about
resolutions and promises because most don’t work, and if they do are
short-lived and, thus, of little long-range value. Let’s welcome the New
Year on a different level — one not quite as lofty or high-minded.
Like anything new, let’s treat ourselves this New Year as we would treat
a new car. How do you treat a brand new car? Right now, imagine the car
of your dreams — that car that would fulfill all your desires — sitting
picture-perfect in the driveway in front of your home.
Just as you would check over your car, let’s first do a check to make
certain everything is working as it should. You can run some simple
tests yourself, but if you haven’t recently, a visit to the doctor might
assist in your status check. Are you eating healthy, exercising
regularly, and getting the proper amount of sleep?
The second thing you would do with a new car is to add a few flourishes
to personalize your new acquisition. Would new clothes or jewelry signal
a refurbished, spruced up, upgrade? How about filling in the gaps in
your wardrobe or simply adding to things you received for Christmas?
The exterior of your new car always needs polishing because it is what
people notice first. Polishing your exterior doesn’t require resolutions
and promises. You can smile more, use greetings that will encourage and
inspire others, and meet more people with an outgoing, effervescent, and
attractive personality.
Polishing could include new make-up, a change in aftershave, or a
distinctive kind of soap in the shower. If a new car smells new, then
you may need to improve your hygiene with more changes of clothes,
showers, mouthwash, and cleaning of fingernails. Not only will such
changes have an effect on others, but you will be amazed at how it
revitalizes your spirit as well.
There are other things you can do too. When you get a new car, you spend
time just looking at it — admiring your new acquisition. In the same
way, you need to step back and look at yourself as a new acquisition.
What can you do to make yourself more admirable and respected? There are
numbers of ways, and these can be continued throughout the year. The
first way is just show up. Be there and be noticed. You can be counted
on, and your presence will be even more obvious if you volunteer,
participate in forums and small groups, and introduce yourself to anyone
you meet who doesn’t know you.
A second way to become admired and respected is to take an interest in
others. Ask questions with genuine concern, and become a student of life
and others. Also, develop your writing skills. Use proper grammar and
punctuation, capitalization, and spelling even in e-mails. By taking
your writing ability to its highest level, you will not only make a good
first impression as you prepare reports, send messages, and respond to
e-mails, but also you will reveal your competence, proficiency, and
intelligence.
There are other ways, too, to become both respected and admired.
Demonstrating leadership is important. Not only can you volunteer to be
a leader of groups, projects, and committees, but you can help others to
become more effective and offer appropriate feedback that will improve
others’ efficiency and effectiveness. In addition to leadership, you can
work smarter by taking advantage of time-management techniques. Getting
more done in less time is an important trait and will quickly gain you
both respect and admiration..
One of the most important ways to become respected and admired is to
avoid looking like an idiot. For example, stop all your silly habits —
whatever they may be. Wear only proper attire, and avoid anything the
least bit outlandish or controversial. Do not show up late — ever! Do
not tell inappropriate jokes, and avoid anything that could be construed
as sexual harassment. Also, avoid incessant talking about yourself. In
general, if you exercise good judgment and follow the norms of the
organization and society, you are likely to remain in safe territory.
Still another way to become admired and respected is to become a
knowledgeable source. Perhaps you need to become better informed. Do you
need to keep up with the news or read a news magazine? Do you need to
know about current events? Do you need to do your homework? Look up
things, read relevant books, take classes, interview authorities, and
know what you’re talking about. When people know you’re a “considered
source” (one who knows what he or she is talking about), your respect
will grow, and admiration will surely follow.
Involvement in community activities or local politics or volunteering at
your local hospital, library, retirement center, or Salvation Army is a
final way to help you become more admired and respected.
Polishing your new vehicle, too, can involve improving your credentials
so you will look good in the eyes of others. Get the college degree you
never finished; take the adult education classes you need to fill out
your background or prepare you for advancement; learn a foreign
language; join a club, or take any action necessary to add depth or
breadth to your polished facade. Often, your reputation precedes you; if
it does, it is likely to be based on your credentials.
Another obvious thing that occurs when you get a new car is that you
want other people to see and admire what you purchased. Socialize. Get
out and meet new people. Break out from the safe, secure, comfort zone
you have established, and let others admire the new you.
There is something else you do when you get a new car, too. You check
your insurance policy to make sure everything is in order and that it
will cover you in case of an accident or injury. The new year, likewise,
is a time to examine all your documents: insurance policies, will,
financial records, investments, savings and checking accounts, and
everything that contributes to your health, safety, security, and
happiness. Bring all your records up-to-date.
It is true that we normally think of the New Year as a time for
resolutions and promises, but seldom do we look at it as we would a new
car. If we treat ourselves as we do any new object when we first get it,
we will come into this New Year with a renewed sense of security, a
rejuvenated exterior, a reinvigorated interior, and a foundation that
will not just propel us through this year but will assure us, as well,
the kind of personal infrastructure that will launch us forward for
years to come. Forget about resolutions and promises, take care of your
new car!
back to page top
> Eight steps for raising your standards And Then
Some!
> Eliminate Every Excuse?
> Excuses are the nails used to build a house of
failure
> Forget about resolutions and promises — Take
care of your new car!
