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And Then Some Get to know the book that started everything

And Then Some Book 1
Table of contents, full chapters, and excerpts


And Then Some Approach
  > An attitude of gratitude And Then Some
  > Eight steps for raising your standards And Then Some!
  > Mindfulness is a way of seeing things as they really are And Then Some
  > Simple Suggestions for Improving Your Life And Then Some
  > The Core of the "AND THEN SOME" Philosophy Part 1
  > The Core of the "AND THEN SOME" Philosophy Part 2


 Education
  > Dealing With Mediocre Teachers
  > Effective Learning Means Being a Student of and for Life
  > Get a College Education!
  > Hidden benefits of college
  > The link between homework and success
  > What is the Importance of Public Education?


 Family
  > A weekend with the grandkids And Then Some...
  > Most fathers have no idea the influence they have on their children
  > The best things in your life were planted by the tender hand of your mother


 Gender
  > Because of the way they are wired, often women make better leaders than men
  > Gender differences need to be acknowledged, accepted, and exploited


 Humor
  > How do you develop a sense of humor?

  > A Gathering of Scientists


 Messages
  > The message citizens don't want to hear
  > Ten messages kids don't want to hear
  > The Message Men Don’t Want to Hear
  > The Message Parents Don’t Want to Hear
  > The message relationship partners don't want to hear
  > The Message Students Don’t Want to Hear
  > The Message Women Don’t Want to Hear


Miscellaneous
  > Christmas is about people
  > Dear Mom and Dad: Lives and then some
  > A fourth grade perspective on the world
  > Gifts that keep on giving
  > Reasons why the Law of Attraction (LOA) is a myth
  > The first anniversary of posted essays


  Politics
  > Random thoughts on the presidential election of 2008
  > What qualities make a good president?
  > If truth is to prevail, image consumption must be replaced by word devotion
  > Making sense of political rhetoric: What are the keys?
  > Make a Choice...


  Public Speaking
  > A Testament to the Power of Speech
  > Fear of Public Speaking: A Method for Overcoming It
  > How do you give “the speech of your life”?
  > Impromptu Speaking Without the Fear and Panic
  > Leadership is not a bag of tricks - It depends on values, vision, and communication
  > Martin Luther King’s ‘I Have a Dream’ speech — The greatest and most notable speech in history
  > Six time-tested ways dealing with fear of public speaking

  Relationships
  > Five Reasons Why Talk Is Essential to Relationships
  > Relationship Luck Takes Hard Work


  Self Help   > An analytical approach yields confidence and satisfaction
  > An attitude of gratitude And Then Some
  > Are you skeptical regarding change?
  > Be aware of the myths that guide your life
  > Eight steps for raising your standards And Then Some!
  > Eliminate Every Excuse?
  > Excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure
  > Forget about resolutions and promises — Take care of your new car!
  > Fundamentals first before fun!
  > The fun in FUNdamentals! — How to find the fun in all FUNctions!
  > Healthy Selfishness Contributes to Being Effective, Efficient, and Productive
  > Live life to the fullest!...
  > Mindfulness is a way of seeing things as they really are And Then Some
  > Pull yourself up by your own bootstraps
  > Secure your foundation: Forget resolutions
  > Self-discipline can change your life in any way you want it to
  > Simple Suggestions for Improving Your Life And Then Some


 Sports
  > The Super Bowl: All American - All Excess!
  > The Super Bowl And Then Some
  > Michigan versus Ohio State: Just another football game? It’s a game And Then Some


 Thought provoking
  > A “thinking” environment should be at the core of any true democracy
  > The "feel good" pattern
  > We Get What We Deserve When It Comes to Alcohol Overuse and Abuse


 Travel
  > World geography and then some
  > When "camping" becomes exceptional
  > Traveling by guess and by gosh
  > Traveling by guess and by gosh II
  > Travel While You’re Young
  > Canoeing the Pine River
  > Celebrity’s Millennium plies the Mediterranean with an emphasis on service and satisfaction


 Very Personal
  > Why do I read? It has the potential for transforming how I think and feel
  > Trying to understand everything
  > Being “handy” is a quality that never ceases to be useful


 Writing
  > So you want to write a book?
  > A Beginners Guide to Writing a Book
  > Do you want to be a writer?
  > How to overcome the curse of knowledge in teaching and writing
  > On being a writer --- an irresistible compulsion!


Thought provoking... And Then Some
Changing the world one step at a time

Several times during my life I have been asked, “If you could change anything in this world, what would it be?” And, at various times I have given different answers to this question: poverty, the environment, or honesty. But, I have an answer that could really make a difference in our world — not that solving the problem of poverty, saving our environment, or creating an atmosphere of honesty would not make substantial contributions. If everyone — parents, teachers, religious leaders, politicians, and individuals themselves — focused on developing and maintaining a “thinking” environment, perhaps many of the other problems of this world would and could be solved.

And Then Some is all about striving to better than what we are now. Richard L. Weaver II, PhD shares his thoughts in ways we can all help change the world.

Click any title and read the essay below:

> A "thinking" environment should be at the core of any true democracy

> The "feel good" pattern

>
We Get What We Deserve When It Comes to Alcohol Overuse and Abuse

 
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A “thinking” environment should be at the core of any true democracy
by Richard L. Weaver II, PhD

Several times during my life I have been asked, “If you could change anything in this world, what would it be?” And, at various times I have given different answers to this question: poverty, the environment, or honesty. But, I have an answer that could really make a difference in our world — not that solving the problem of poverty, saving our environment, or creating an atmosphere of honesty would not make substantial contributions. If everyone — parents, teachers, religious leaders, politicians, and individuals themselves — focused on developing and maintaining a “thinking” environment, perhaps many of the other problems of this world would and could be solved.

The first place where developing a “thinking” environment must occur is in the home. The question is, “How do you encourage children to think on their own?” Thinking as I use it in this essay means using the mind or intellect in exercising judgment, forming ideas, and engaging in rational thought. It is parents’ duty to feed and clothe their children, but parental responsibility must not stop at supplying these needs. Another basic need is to feed the minds of children with facts, information, ideas, and knowledge. Children need a foundation from which they can exercise judgment, form their own ideas, and engage in rational thought.

Important to establishing a structure upon which children can build a life is providing them stimuli — anything that rouses the mind or spirit. This may mean having books, magazines, and newspapers available, but it is important that parents read to their children from infancy (or before!) until they can comfortably and pleasurefully read for themselves. They must always be supplied with books at their level, so that when they are looking for things to do, interesting and enjoyable literature is at their fingertips. They need to see their parents reading not just sitting passively watching television, surfing the Internet, or playing movies.

In addition to reading material, children need to be taken to the library, to museums and zoos, and other trips away from home. For example, camping is a great way to discover, explore, and enjoy nature. Such excursions help them form opinions, develop feelings, and invent and imagine related ideas. Also, they need to be challenged. In our house, dinnertime was an opportunity to ask questions, present ideas, discuss positions, laugh, love, and express ourselves and our true nature.

School is the second place where developing a “thinking” environment should take place. Perhaps this looks too obvious; after all what else is school supposed to do? Students not only need to cover the basics, but those “basics” need to be reinforced at every opportunity with no excuses and no “watering down” the curriculum. Students need to be challenged from the very beginning—in preschool—where they can be asked intelligent questions, challenged to come up with their own interpretations, and even encouraged to take actions based on their facts and opinions. By beginning the “thinking” environment early, it is established as a benchmark for all other classes, grades, and levels that follow. Thinking becomes inherent, instinctive, accepted, and deeply rooted.

This does not mean that learning cannot be fun. But fun does not need to be unorganized socializing, unstructured playing, and unregulated talk. These activities can be focused, ordered, and well run so that students are actively engaged in academic work that is enriching, edifying, illuminating, productive, and gratifying. When academic activities are satisfying, students will seek to be involved on their own — without being told, encouraged, or rewarded to take part.

The school-home connection for encouraging a “thinking” environment should be established through homework. Homework promotes self-discipline and bonds between parents and children. It extends lessons introduced in school, helps students toward deeper understandings, keeps ideas and thoughts at the forefront of students’ minds, provides additional insights and understanding, prepares students for life, keeps parents informed of what is going on in school and, most important of all, establishes a pattern of learning and information acquisition beyond the classroom — outside of the school’s formal, well-defined walls.

The third place where a “thinking” environment can be established is in churches and synagogues. Although it is essential that basic concepts and understandings are established, once they are established, congregations should be attracted because churches and synagogues make what they offer inviting, even irresistible. Church patrons should then be offered alternatives and encouraged to attend other churches — to investigate, scrutinize, inspect, study, and research other religions. At no point should church-goers be reprimanded, admonished, or publicly punished because of their interest in, attendance at, or membership with another church or synagogue — even if it is a different denomination, group, sect, persuasion, or order. The main point is that people must be able to freely choose how they want to express their religious beliefs, and any church or synagogue supporting a “thinking” environment must, indeed, promote and encourage freedom for individuals within their purview.

The fourth place where a “thinking” environment can be promoted is at work. “Subscribers to the Harvard Business Review,” writes Ronald B. Adler and Jeanne Marquardt Elmhorst in their textbook Communicating at Work (McGraw-Hill), “rated ‘the ability to communicate’ the most important factor in making an executive ‘promotable,’ more important than ambition, education, and capacity for hard work.” Those most successful at work share personality traits that distinguish good communicators: a desire to persuade, an interest in talking and working with other people, and an outgoing, ascendant personality. These are the people who connect with others, discover important information, and generate creative new ideas. Given the freedom to and the rewards for “thinking,” they seek problems that demand attention, depend upon the considerable data they have stored up, ameliorate ideas, and begin thinking of well-thought-out and realistic solutions.

When a “thinking” environment begins at home, continues at school, bridges the school-home fracture with homework, is reinforced at churches and synagogues, and extends into the workplace, the result is a world full of thinkers who use the mind or intellect in exercising judgment, forming ideas, and engaging in rational thought. They analyze, criticize, take nothing for granted, weigh opinions and evidence, and devise options, alternatives, and various courses of action that are the result of organized, systematic, and rigorous reflection and deliberation. Isn’t that precisely what a true democracy should have at its core?



At the website http://www.freeinquiry.com/critical-thinking.html “An Introduction to Critical Thinking,” Steven D. Schafersman has written an excellent essay on the need to teach critical thinking skills to students. Although the essay is 17 years old, it is no less relevant today than when it was written.

In this lengthy but informative and valuable essay entitled, “Critical thinking: What is it good for? (In fact, what is it?)” at the website http://www.csicop.org/si/2006-02/thinking.html sponsored by the Committee for Skeptical Inquiry, Howard Gabennesch offers readers a thorough analysis (along with 23 supporting references) of why the term needs a clearer definition and why the stakes are so high in obtaining such a perspective. This is a very effective, well-written essay.



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> A "thinking" environment should be at the core of any true democracy
> The "feel good" pattern
> We Get What We Deserve When It Comes to Alcohol Overuse and Abuse


The "feel good" pattern
by Richard L. Weaver II, PhD

You hear about the “feel good” pattern, and you read about it over and over again — although it is seldom labeled. Here, Michael Kinsley writes about it in the final Time essay (August 11, 2008), “[Bill] Gates founded Microsoft and ran it with legendary single-mindedness for three decades. There was not a lot of energy devoted to lifting up the world’s poor. Now, having squeezed every drop out of capitalism, he is going to devote almost all his time and fortune to improving the state of the world. Even the skeptics tend to agree that the results of that redirected single-mindedness could be awesome” (p. 68).

I was talking with a friend of mine who is an environmentalist and works for a company in Texas that is concentrating on protecting some of the fish in the Gulf of Mexico — at least in that body of water that touches the eastern portion of that state. He said that it takes the cooperation of a wide variety of entities, and the goal of the corporation for which he works is to try to bring all those entities — government as well as businesses — together. But the key, he said, is getting businesses to a point where they want to become good stewards of the environment.

One aspect or arm of his corporation is to help businesses become healthy, i.e., financially stable, because only when a company achieves that status (the “feel good” pattern) does it have any interest in environmental concerns.

What I’m suggesting in this essay is that this is a universal pattern — I’ve often referred to it as “life’s template” — that applies in a wide variety of circumstances. If you look at Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs the “feel good” pattern is well illustrated. If you recall, at the bottom of his pyramid are physiological needs, and if our basic need for food, water, sleep, and physical comfort are not satisfied, needs that appear higher in the pyramid are unlikely to be filled. The next step includes safety needs, and those include stability, our freedom from violence and disease, as well as our security. This, too, includes our need for structure and order and, to create and maintain that structure and order, law.

Belongingness and love needs, at the next step, include our need for friendship, love, and affection, and at the step next to the top of Maslow’s pyramid, self-esteem needs include our need for recognition, respect from others, as well as self-respect.

The point of this essay is that the true “feel good” needs occur at the very top of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. They are self-actualization needs, and they include genuine fulfillment and the realization of your potential. You only reach that level — that true “feel good” plane — once the needs below are satisfied. It isn’t that you can’t feel good before achieving the top level; it is, indeed, that the ultimate “feel good” attitude or orientation is obtained after the lower needs in the hierarchy are filled — then, through self-actualization.

You can see the “feel good” pattern revealed, too, in the relationship between self-development and relationships. I have taught for years that “you need to get your own house in order before inviting anyone over.” What that means is simply, you need to engage in some serious self-concept construction before deciding to take on a relationship — especially a serious one. When you have problems with self-confidence, assertiveness, self-reliance or with your own identity, character, and state of mind, it is no time to bring a serious relationship partner into your life. There are enough problems when two people are working with each other, trying to develop or sustain a relationship, and solving conflicts and resolving difficulties, that adding to those circumstances the weak or deficient ego of one of the partners doesn’t just complicate things, it has the potential of destroying everything! It is like adding a foreign ingredient, like cement, to a cake recipe. You may not notice it immediately, but the cake is destroyed.

It applies, as well, to charitable giving. Only when individuals have enough money to sustain their own individual or family needs, can they begin to think about giving money, or volunteering their time, for charities.

In state budgeting, as another clear example, the expense of maintaining the infrastructure is often an “add on” expense that is only carried out when all other “essential” budgeting expenses are covered. When the state “feels good,” then the infrastructure (roads, highways, bridges, and state buildings) of the government can be repaired and maintained. That goes for every level of government, of course.

As I heard several pundits describing the situation regarding business on television, it is too bad, they concluded, that our thinking has to be this way. It is too bad that we cannot begin to think of others first before thinking of ourselves. And they are certainly correct. This is the way life should be. But, there are so many shoulds out there, you could even think of life as the “tyranny of the shoulds.” as German psychoanalyst Karen Horney described it. For example, we know we should be attractive, outgoing, sociable, and self-disciplined because these are reinforced by our parents, family, friends, the media, and society as a whole.

There are many other shoulds, of course, and they include being friendly, supportive of others, and altruistic as well. The problem with any set of shoulds occurs when they become absolute, inflexible rules. That puts an enormous amount of pressure on us, and when we don’t live up to them — the shoulds in our lives — it can make us feel very bad.

Certainly, feeling bad can occur at any point when the “feel good” pattern remains unaccomplished. Notice how it almost always seems to take place once something else has transpired — so clearly demonstrated in Maslow’s Hierarchy. Some might even say that what goes before is a prerequisite for any “feel good” pattern to emerge. And it may be that for many people it never reveals itself for a number of reasons. The first may be that there was no prerequisite in place, but I’m sure many people exist comfortably without ever exhibiting or experiencing the “feel good” level. Some, too, never strive to attain that level; it doesn’t happen automatically, and if there is no interest, effort, or motivation, it is unlikely to take place.

The “feel good” pattern appears to be universal. Although in some cases it may not be the best result, actions often become easier to understand when you know what is going on. It is a pattern worth noticing and applying because it is so important, and it seems to work no matter what agency is involved — whether it is government, business, individuals, or relationships.



At “Ground Rules for Living.” there are 14 great rules (such as “Keep your word,” “Let go of all upsets,” and “Have your life be about more than you. Serve!”) which, if everyone followed, we would have a much better society — and a bunch of superior individuals, too! Talk about templates!

At “Golden Rules for Living” there are more than 50 “rules” discussed including “Know thyself,” “Life is what you make it,” and “Knowledge is power.” Sure, all of these have been written about previously, but not one of us can afford not to review them occasionally. Sometimes it’s a reminder that prompts new action.

There is a great, short essay on “The tyranny of shoulds, oughts and musts," where, after a number of shoulds, oughts, and musts are discussed, there are six specific methods for “dealing with these tyrants."


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> A "thinking" environment should be at the core of any true democracy
> The "feel good" pattern
> We Get What We Deserve When It Comes to Alcohol Overuse and Abuse


We Get What We Deserve When It Comes to Alcohol Overuse and Abuse
by Richard L. Weaver II, PhD

This is an essay about how startled I am. On this topic — alcohol — I never cease to be amazed, and I have decided to use St. Patrick’s Day to reveal my feelings.

When I taught college, I was often told that students could not be in class because of heavy nights of drinking. On campuses across our country, drinking alcohol is “cool,” and active and prodigious drinking is nearly a right of entry. It is part of the deal. College students spend 5.5 billion dollars a year on alcohol — and that doesn’t include what teenagers spend.

With all that money spent by college students on alcohol, is it any wonder that 90% of student crime on college campuses is tied either directly or indirectly to alcohol. Also, rape, date rape, fights, assaults, accidents, falling off balconies, drowning, and car accidents are most often attributable to victims or perpetrators being under the influence of alcohol.

College is not an exception, rather, it accurately mirrors what happens throughout our society. Alcohol is everyone’s favorite drug, and because of that, it causes more harm than either heroin or marijuana. Fights, arguments, money troubles, family upsets, spur-of-the-moment casual sex are often tied to alcohol use just as automobile crashes, recreational accidents, on-the-job accidents, and the likelihood of homicide and suicide.

Harm also is health related. Not only does heavy drinking increase the risk of cancer of the liver, esophagus, throat, and larynx, also it can cause liver cirrhosis, immune system problems, brain damage, and injury to the fetus during pregnancy.

All of these instances of alcohol overuse are widespread, common, and well known. It goes without saying, of course, that much alcohol is consumed as a pleasant accompaniment to social activities. But with alcoholism and alcohol abuse costing our nation over $150 billion a year, you would think citizens would complain loudly about the way it is glamorized and promoted as the “cool” thing to do.

The health hazards are known, fatalities counted, and the destructive consequences often noted. But alcohol is not only available, it is heavily advertised, and widely promoted. Outraged citizens could demand more advertisements, commercials, and public service messages that emphasize healthy and safe alcohol-free activities and lifestyles. But they won’t, and they don’t.

An argument could be made for freedom. That is, that everyone has the right to consume whatever they want wherever they want. After all, this is a free society. It certainly comes as no surprise that our society is at the state we are considering the widespread overuse and abuse of alcohol. Look, for example, how the use of alcohol has effectively socialized our citizens.

Beer advertisements and commercials on television may be the front line of promotion. Some of the most memorable, funny, and best commercials on television are those associated with drinking beer. Madison avenue has taken every desirable aspect of life and tied it to beer: close and loving relationships, bonding with your friends, great sex, having attractive girlfriends and boyfriends, a glamorous lifestyle, good health, rugged outdoor lives, sports and athletics, and cool cars. The liquor industry spends billions of dollars each year to lasso young viewers.

Closely associated with these advertisements and commercials, of course, are the professional athletes and movie stars who, by their actions and advertisements, reinforce how “cool” it is to drink.

A second level of promotion may operate on a less obvious base of influence. Look at where alcoholic beverages are regularly served. First, there are the thousands of bars and taverns. It might not be so bad if it stopped there, but look, second, at the restaurants, night clubs, sporting events, festivals, state fairs, hotels, casinos, carnivals, and cruise ships. Third, to this list add the grocery stores, liquor stores, beverage stores, 7/11 stores, and state stores where bottles, cans, and cases can be purchased. Because alcohol is an adult drug permitted in our society, youth and students think that makes it okay to drink — and drink as soon as possible.

A third level of socialization, and one even more subtle than the previous areas of influence, are the religious rituals, cultural traditions, special events, and holidays associated with drinking alcohol. You can even add the alcohol added to food designed to enhance its flavor. On this level, socialization is clearly understated, and because of how subdued, it could be argued that its influence is enhanced.

Alcohol is deeply ingrained in our society. When people are surrounded with it — bombarded with advertisements and commercials, impacted by events, traditions, and holidays, and exposed to people drinking in every social situation — is it any wonder that its acceptability is part of their socialization process? Is it any wonder that people feel they need to drink alcohol to fit in? Is it any wonder that drinking alcohol is part and parcel of membership in this society?

Under these conditions, is it any wonder that the youth of our nation — including college students, I might add (the primary target of advertising is 16 - 25 year old young men) — do not see anything destructive, unhealthy, or fatal in the use, overuse, or abuse of alcohol? And why would they? They, too, are victims of subliminal programming that is both blatant and sophisticated.

Why is it that the citizens of this nation allow the alcohol industry to subliminally program our young people? Why is the industry allowed to advertise to our children? It all comes down to money, of course. Greed! The alcohol industry, just like the National Rifle Association, is rich and powerful, and they do not want anyone interfering with them. Legislators in Washington accept alcohol industry money, and with politicians in their pocket, they have the control and leverage they want. As long as you believe that alcohol is doing something positive for all of us, that alcohol is the solution to awkward, uncomfortable feelings, and that alcohol is the lubricant that oils the machinery of social interactions, the alcohol industry has you exactly where they want you.

The following verse, written anonymously, reveals the power of this “innocent” social refreshment:
I am more powerful than the combined armies of the world;
I have destroyed more men than all the wars of all the nations;
I have caused millions of accidents and wrecked more homes than all the floods, tornadoes, and hurricanes put together.
I am the worlds’ slickest thief.
I steal billions of dollars each year;
I find my victims among the rich and poor alike, I am relentless, insidious, unpredictable;
I bring sickness, poverty, and death;
I give nothing and take all;
I am your worst enemy;
I am alcohol.



“Most of the successful alcohol rehab and drug rehab programs are based on the proven Alcoholics Anonymous 12-step program, along with other cognitive and experiential therapies. Here at Cirque Lodge, we combine the best of both the cognitive and experiential therapies, including our world-famous equine therapy program and outdoor mountain therapy sessions.” This is from the Cirque Lodge website (http://www.cirquelodge.com/AlcoholRehab/AlcoholProblem.php) and the essay there is labeled “Alcohol Problem.”

There is a great, short, essay, “Historical Overview,” on the entire history of alcohol in our society, at the “Wisconsin Clearinghouse for Prevention Resources” (http://wch.uhs.wisc.edu/01-Prevention/01-Prev-Historical.html) that is interesting and worthwhile.



back to page top
> A "thinking" environment should be at the core of any true democracy
> The "feel good" pattern
> We Get What We Deserve When It Comes to Alcohol Overuse and Abuse



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